Moving Out Without Drama: Ending A Roommate-ship Gracefully

By Garth Brunner

While your roommate or roommates may be great people, sometimes they’re not exactly the best to live with. If you have the means to leave and find somewhere else to live to lighten your stress load, if not done correctly, there’s bound to be drama, which can cause significant turmoil in your apartment or home. It’s probably best for all parties, yourself included, if you end this roommate-ship gracefully.

Sometimes, you don’t fully know what people are capable of until they’re pushed to their limits–let’s do our best to avoid this! So, here’s how you can move out without drama and end your roommate-ship gracefully.

Roommate Finder: Moving Out Without Drama: Ending A Roommate-ship Gracefully

Have a Plan

If you haven’t mentioned your desire to move yet, you should hold off until you have a concrete plan. Wait until you’ve found somewhere else to live, new roommates, and talked to your landlord about breaking a lease. You want to ensure this is something you can follow through on before you bring it up.

If you were only speaking in hypotheticals and something happens to fall through, it could cause some drama. Now that you’re stuck with a roommate who knows you want to leave them, they could become bitter, and it could start some kind of drama. Know where you’re going, when you’re leaving, and how you’re getting there.

Talk to Your Landlord

As mentioned above, talking to your landlord should be a part of ending this roommate-ship peacefully. If you just up and break the lease, it can stick your roommate with extra rent, broken lease agreements, and in serious cases, a visit to small claims court. If you want to keep things drama-free, negotiating with your landlord is the best option.

Negotiate how long you and your roommate have to find a replacement roommate, if you’ll still be responsible for rent until they do or until the lease ends, or anything else, so your roommate doesn’t get the short end of the stick. The terms you and your landlord agree on will differ for all landlords and circumstances, but be open and honest. They may be sympathetic to a poor roommate situation and willing to help you out a little more.

Communicate Your Reasons

It’s not recommended to just up and leave without some kind of communication to your roommate for a plethora of reasons, such as concern for your safety, and it can leave them worrying about the lease. Even if things aren’t on good terms between you and your roommates, you still need to sit down and have an open talk about why and when you’re leaving. So, once you have your plan, find a common time to sit down or talk to them if they don’t seem busy.

Even if, in your opinion, things are your roommate’s fault, don’t phrase it in such a way. Directly blaming someone can cause your roommate to get defensive and blow up. A roommate-ship is two-sided, so take part of the blame while still being honest. Maybe your cleaning habits and expectations didn’t match well, maybe they’re too much for you, or maybe you have a really, really long list. By being honest, it won’t cause any confusion.

Sometimes, this talk can feel like a breakup, but the goal isn’t to break anyone’s hearts. Be kind, honest, and straightforward. If they get upset, don’t just run away. If you still want to be friends, stress that!

Only Take Your Belongings

Once you’re ready to move out, you should only take what is yours, but unfortunately, this can be easier said than done sometimes. Many roommates split the costs of a lot of furniture, kitchen appliances, and bills such as the internet. You need to discuss how to handle these specific items going forward.

Some roommates who become ex-roommates decide to split these items evenly, whether in terms of value or, for example, split 10 items into 5 each. Alternatively, you can reimburse each other for a specific item. Did you both buy a coffee maker that only you use? Consider paying your roommate for their half of the coffee maker.

Next, you should double-check all of your clothing and linens to ensure they didn’t end up in your dresser on accident after a hectic laundry day. You don’t want to be branded a thief for an accident!

Ideally, you don’t want to start a fight over these items. Keep it peaceful so you’re able to move out without any extra drama from your belongings.

As long as you plan ahead and remain calm throughout your entire moving out, you should be able to avoid as much drama as possible and exit this relationship gracefully. It might be very stressful and nerve-wracking, but don’t take it out on your roommate, even if things aren’t great between you two.

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