The Science of Roommate Compatibility: Personality Traits that Should Align

By Garth Brunner

Let’s face it, your college experience can be highly influenced by your relationship and experience with your roommate. Even someone that you love to spend time with might not end up being a compatible roommate. While you want to get along with your roommate, there are specific personality traits and values that should align – it’s just science. Keep in mind, you do not always have to be best friends with your roommates. You should be friendly, of course, but it’s most important that your living expectations align.

Here’s a quick crash course on the science of roommate compatibility and the personality traits that should align when looking for a new roommate.

Extraverted or Introverted

Whether you are extraverted or introverted, your most compatible roommates will match that. If you are on opposite sides of the extraversion spectrum, it is going to make living together very difficult. One of you thrives around people while the other prefers their own solitude. It could mean one roommate wants guests over constantly, while the other would prefer guests were a rare occurrence. This difference in extraversion levels is going to lead to clashing between you and can make both of you very uncomfortable.

With that, keep noise sensitivity in mind. Some people like to come home and relax in a quiet space, while others like to put on some loud music as they settle in for the night.

These differing personality traits are impossible to ignore as they are a core part of who you are as a person. It can even make talking difficult as you two have very different styles of communication, both in person and over text. If someone wants to be alone but the other wants to be around and chat constantly, this might make both sides uncomfortable. If you view extraversion as a scale of zero to one hundred, your best roommate is going to be someone similar in number to you. If you can’t find someone that matches you exactly, you may be able to find someone in the middle who is more of an ambivert. Keep this in mind so your personalities can align.

Academic Competence

How important are your academics and studying to your college experience? Hopefully very important, considering the time and money you’re investing into it! Regardless, someone who values academics the same as you is going to align better as a roommate. Decisions that you or your friends have made, whether it comes to studying or partying, reflect your academic competence. You want someone who matches your level. If you have a big test coming up and you want to spend the night studying and your roommate wants to party and wing it, that can be very difficult, especially if they want to party in your space!

You don’t want your own grades to suffer because your personality traits do not align with your roommate, nor do you want your roommate to feel insecure if their grades are not as good as yours. Compatible academic goals and achievements are going to contribute to better roommate compatibility.

Cleanliness Levels

Naturally, a very important trait that needs to align is your cleanliness levels. If one of you is a neat freak and the other never cleans up after themselves… It is going to make your living situation very difficult. It can be frustrating if one of you always has to clean up after the other.
While sometimes you just have to give someone a nudge, or kick, in the right direction by creating a chore chart and communicating your cleanliness standards, it can be easier if you find someone who has the same definition of clean as you. What do you and your roommate both think needs to be done daily, weekly, or monthly? How do they keep their room and shared spaces?

Compatible roommates are essential for your wellbeing. When your personality traits don’t align, it can create a hostile living environment for both of you, filled with tension and arguments. While having common interests will be a good bonus if you are already compatible, don’t choose your roommates based on your favorite music or movies because that isn’t a sign that you will do well living together.

Talk about their living habits and figure out what kind of person they are at their core and if it aligns well with who you are. Don’t worry if you don’t end up being close or inseparable. Moving in with your best friends could end up destroying your relationship if the right traits do not align. Being cordial and comfortable in your own home is better than any conflicts that could arise.
Don’t be afraid to run through hypothetical situations together to see how you would both handle them and if everything seems to align. This could be a good test to do together!