College Roommate Tips
Roommates and Lease Agreements: A Guide for New Roommates
By Lana Oquendo
As a new renter, you have to decide where you want to live, who you want to live with, and what kind of lifestyle you’ll be anticipating in the long run. If you’ve decided to live with roommates, then you’ll have a few things to review and discuss with them before signing your lease, such as financial and legal obligations, splitting rent, and signing a roommate agreement. To make the transition easier, here are some ground rules and tips to follow to ensure your rental experience is stress-free.
Roommate Meeting
Before you move in, you should have a meeting with your roommate(s) to lay down the expectations you both have for how you want to live, what is considered private or communal, financial splitting, and lay out work schedules to figure out how to not impede on the other person’s life. During the meeting, ask them and yourself:
● What is the rent, and what can you put up towards it? This can be 50/50, 60/40, or something different, such as them covering the rent while you cover the utilities or groceries. Every dynamic is different, and you should work together to avoid putting a strain on the other person’s finances.
● Who will have guests over, and how long can they stay? Some may want to have daytime-only guests, nighttime-only guests, or even let them stay overnight. You also need to factor in how these schedules may change if work schedules shift or are temporarily adjusted for specific events, such as finals week.
● What spaces and/or appliances are you willing to share and not? Some typical communal areas include the living room and kitchen, but certain appliances, such as a personal blender or gaming console, may not be. Additionally, consider how these shared spaces may incur more costs, such as the need to split the cost of upgrades to certain appliances with your roommate(s).
● How do you prefer to communicate household issues? Is one way, such as in-person, a phone call, or a text, the best way for you and your roommate(s) to talk? Or should there be variations, such as an in-person chat to discuss cleaning expectations or a quick text to remind you to buy more milk?
● What is your schedule? You may be a daytime student or worker, while they can be a nighttime student or worker. These schedules need to be outlined to avoid sudden noises while one is sleeping or studying, and to decide who will take on cleaning up communal spaces on certain days or weeks.
● How will you contribute to household chores? In connection with the previous question, you need to go over what needs to be cleaned frequently. Would you prefer the couch to be made every morning, or is that a nonessential? Do you alternate washing the dishes nightly or weekly? Who’s doing the grocery shopping? Determine what works best, considering your schedules.
● What noise are you okay with or not okay with? You may be fine with late-night binge watching or gaming, whereas your roommate(s) want peace and quiet to sleep through the night. They may want a quiet morning to get up, whereas you can be full of energy by sunrise and do early cleaning.
● What will happen in the event of loss of income? Layoffs can happen to anyone at any time. Talk about how long they could cover their share of the bills, when/what you could chip in while they look for other work, and how this may change daily schedules.
Roommate Agreement
When you get to sign your lease, go over a roommate agreement with your roommates(s) to go over important details the lease may not cover. Some of these terms are:
● How the rent and utility bills will be split and paid
● A plan for cleaning, chores, shared supplies, and communal spaces
● Policies on overnight guests and noise levels
● How to handle a roommate moving out early
● How to cover costs for job layoffs
● Who is responsible for finding a replacement roommate
Lease Agreement
Before signing your name on the dotted line, review the key terms of your lease agreement so that you and your roommates are prepared, and inspect your new home. Be sure to:
● Conduct an In-Person Walkthrough: Before signing, take a tour of the new rental with your roommate(s) and landlord to review any previous damages and ask questions about the property. Tip: Take photos and videos of the place as proof of the condition before you move in.
● Rent and Payments: Verify the exact rent amount, due date, late fees, and acceptable payment methods. Tip: Review the roommate agreement to determine who will be responsible for the payment.
● Lease Duration: Check the exact start and end dates, as well as the process for renewing or breaking the lease early. Tip: Add those clauses to the roommate agreement.
● Subletting: Check if the lease allows subletting, in case you have future roommates who are not on the original lease. Tip: Go over who will be responsible for finding new roommates.
● Security Deposit: Understand the amount, permissible deductions, and when you can expect it back. Tip: Determine how much each person will contribute to the deposit.
● Utilities: Clarify which utilities you are responsible for (e.g., electricity, gas, water) and which are included in the rent. Tip: Outline these in the agreement for future reference.
● Maintenance and Repairs: Understand what your landlord is required to repair and who is responsible for any maintenance, including emergency repairs. Tip: Create a list of emergency repair services.
● Rules and Restrictions: Review the rules regarding pets, guests, noise, parking, and any potential renovations. Tip: Look for any ‘hidden’ restrictions in the lease, like limits on decorating or quiet hours.
● Renters Insurance: Check the lease to see if it’s required, as most places do require some form of insurance. Tip: Have your own renter’s insurance, as one person’s policy generally doesn’t cover another’s belongings or liability, and sharing a policy can create complications with claims or moving out.
Remember, before signing, that some leases have joint liability. You may be legally responsible for the full rent and damages, even if your roommate causes them.
Moving in with roommates doesn’t have to be complicated. By reaching a middle ground with them ahead of signing the lease, creating an agreement that aligns with all your current lifestyles, and working together to ensure you understand all the terms and conditions of signing a shared lease, you can make living in a shared space worthwhile.
How to Keep the Apartment Clean Without One Roommate Doing Everything
Living with roommates is a fun experience, especially if it is your first time. You are learning how to live independently away from your family. One of the biggest things to learn to do is to keep your apartment clean without leaving all the work for one person to do. Thankfully, there are ways to make sure each roommate has a fair share of the cleaning, so things get done fairly.
Make a schedule
At the start of each week, make a list of cleaning chores that need to get done and decide who is going to do each chore that week. Alternate who does each chore from week to week to keep it fair, and no one gets the easy tasks each week while someone else always gets the difficult tasks. The schedule can be on a calendar, or you can use a kids’ chore chart. If you are crafty, you may even decide to make your own.
Roommate agreement
Before moving in, meet up with your roommates to create a roommate agreement. This should include things such as paying rent, schedules, and other agreed-upon rules. Include a section on how cleaning tasks get done. Include rules such as “if you cook with it, you clean it.” Be as specific as possible to avoid any confusion and potential for disagreements or loopholes. If there are any disputes, you can refer back to your roommate agreement and show the rules that everyone agreed on and signed.
Avoid doing it by yourself
If your roommate is having a difficult week, it may be tempting to decide to do all of their cleaning chores for them and hope that they will reciprocate if you are having a stressful week. However, this usually backfires. At minimum, you may never get the kind deed reciprocated. At the worst, your roommate may try to take advantage of your kindness by saying that they are having a stressful week, even if they are not, just to get out of cleaning. You may switch their more difficult tasks for your easier tasks, but everyone should be contributing to chores each week.
Use an app
Nowadays, there is an app for everything. This includes apps for roommate chore help. These apps make chores fun by making them competitive and rewarding you for completing your cleaning tasks. You can add your roommates and cleaning tasks, and the app will assign the chores to the roommates. This makes it fair and unbiased as the app is deciding who does what.
Different definitions of clean
No matter how much you and your roommate agree on things, you will likely still have differences. One of these differences may be in what each of you thinks is clean. You may like everything to be in its place, while your roommate is okay with leaving things sitting out on the counters or the floor. Have a conversation with your roommate as soon as this issue arises and try to understand where they are coming from. If they tend to leave things lying around, see if they will be willing to contain this in their own space and respect shared spaces.
Effective communication
Communicating effectively about what cleaning needs to be done and what your expectations are is essential. Being passive-aggressive and leaving sticky notes around the apartment will not get you anywhere. This will only leave your roommate feeling bitter and unmotivated to make a change. Communicate your wants and needs early on and make sure you and your roommate are on the same page when it comes to cleaning. This will decrease stress and arguments moving forward.
Roommate check-ins
At least once a week, have a check-in with your roommate. This will allow you to see how you both feel about the cleaning tasks you are doing and what needs to be adjusted. During this time, bring up any differences in cleanliness ideas that you notice and brainstorm how to navigate moving forward. Try your best to remain calm during these conversations, even if something is upsetting you. This way, issues can be resolved in a friendly manner, and your roommate will not feel like they are being cornered.
In-between tidying
Even if you have a set day or a couple of days devoted to cleaning, you will likely still have small tidying tasks to do daily. This includes putting dishes away and taking the trash out. Make it a rule that everyone needs to clean up after themselves if they take things out and put their dishes in the dishwasher after dinner. Setting these boundaries ensures that everyone is doing their part and no one is tasked with doing so much at once. This also ensures that the cleaning tasks you have set are not built up and super difficult, since things are being done in the interim.
Keeping your apartment clean with a roommate can be difficult, especially when it comes to sharing the load, but it is possible to work together to share the task of cleaning.
How to Find the Perfect Roommate — Without Ruining a Friendship
By Ella Shauman
When it comes to college housing, one of the biggest decisions you’ll make is choosing who you’ll live with. At first glance, the obvious choice might be a close friend. After all, you already know each other well, you’ve got inside jokes, and you trust them. What could go wrong?
The truth is, living with someone, especially your best friend, isn’t the same as hanging out with them. Sharing a space brings new challenges, from cleaning responsibilities to sleep schedules, and even the strongest friendships can get rocky if expectations aren’t clear. Luckily, it’s possible to find the perfect roommate without destroying a friendship in the process.
Start with Honest Conversations
If you’re considering rooming with a friend, the first step is honesty. Sit down before committing and talk openly about habits, expectations, and deal-breakers. Some questions to ask:
● Are you a morning person or a night owl?
● What’s your study routine like?
● How often do you like to have guests over?
● What’s your approach to cleaning shared spaces?
These conversations may feel a little awkward, but they’re necessary. The more transparent you are from the start, the fewer surprises (and frustrations) you’ll face later.
Don’t Assume You’re Compatible Just Because You’re Close
Being best friends doesn’t always mean you’re great roommates. Maybe you love spending time together, but have completely different lifestyles. For example, your friend may like blasting music at midnight to unwind, while you prefer peace and quiet after 10 p.m. Or maybe one of you is extremely neat while the other is more laid-back about clutter.
If your differences feel like potential deal-breakers, it doesn’t mean you can’t be friends; it just means you may not be the best match for living together. And that’s okay. Sometimes, saving the friendship means not sharing a lease.
Establish Boundaries Early
Even if you and your friend decide to live together, setting boundaries is essential. Talk through topics like
● Personal Space: Is it okay to borrow clothes, food, or other belongings?
● Guests: How often is too often for visitors or partners staying over?
● Shared Expenses: Will you split groceries or keep food separate? What about utilities or streaming subscriptions?
● Cleaning: Who’s responsible for what, and how often should chores get done?
Having clear boundaries prevents miscommunication and resentment. You’ll thank yourselves later for hashing these things out before move-in day.
Use Roommate Agreements
It might sound formal, but writing down a roommate agreement can be a lifesaver. This doesn’t have to be complicated, just a document outlining expectations for cleaning, noise, guests, bills, and personal space. Both of you can agree on it, sign it, and keep it handy.
Having a written agreement means you have something to reference if conflicts arise. It keeps disagreements from feeling personal and instead frames them as issues to be solved collaboratively.
Keep Your Social Life Separate
One of the biggest pitfalls of living with a friend is spending too much time together. If your friend is your roommate, study buddy, and weekend hangout partner, you may start to feel smothered or, worse, resentful.
Make an effort to maintain separate social circles and activities. Encourage each other to spend time with other friends or join clubs independently. Having a little breathing room makes your time together more enjoyable and prevents burnout in the friendship.
Be Ready to Compromise
No roommate situation will ever be perfect. Even if you and your friend are very compatible, there will be times when you need to compromise. Maybe they’ll have to tolerate your late-night study sessions, and you’ll have to deal with their early alarms.
The key is balance. As long as both of you are willing to bend sometimes, you’ll be able to navigate challenges without letting resentment build.
What If It Doesn’t Work Out?
Despite your best efforts, sometimes living with a friend just doesn’t go smoothly. If conflicts arise, address them directly and calmly rather than letting tension fester. Focus on the issue (like dirty dishes or unpaid bills), not the person.
If the situation becomes unbearable, it doesn’t mean the friendship is doomed. Sometimes, moving out is the healthiest choice. Be honest with each other, acknowledge the effort you both put in, and focus on repairing the friendship outside of the shared living space.
Finding Alternatives
If you decide not to live with your friend, or if things don’t work out, there are plenty of other ways to find a good roommate. Many schools offer housing groups, bulletin boards, or online forums for students seeking roommates. Social media can also be a helpful tool.
When searching for a non-friend roommate, treat it like a job interview: ask about schedules, cleaning habits, and lifestyle preferences. The goal is to find someone whose daily rhythm complements yours, even if you aren’t best friends. Sometimes, living with an acquaintance or stranger is easier because you’re more likely to keep boundaries intact.
Living with a friend can be a dream or a disaster. The difference comes down to communication, boundaries, and realistic expectations. Before you decide to share a room or apartment with your bestie, take time to talk honestly about what daily life will look like.
Remember: friendships are valuable, and preserving them is more important than splitting rent. Whether you end up living with your close friend, another classmate, or someone new entirely, the key is finding a balance that makes your living situation and your relationships healthy and sustainable.
Roommate Rituals: How Small Traditions Build Big Bonds
Living with a roommate in college, whether in the dorms or off-campus, can be difficult. You may not know each other well, but getting to know each other will help you make the most of the school year together. One way to do this is to have rituals and traditions that you do together to help get to know each other and bond.
Image via Pexels
Roommate dates
One way to bond is to spend time together, and this can be accomplished through roommate dates. Pick one day a week when you and your roommates are free and dedicate some time to doing something together. This can be anything from dinner to spa night and more. Take turns picking an activity, or have a set activity that you do during this time. Be sure you allow time to talk, even if you do something active.
TV shows
Many people dedicate time to watching TV shows with another person, be it a friend or a romantic partner. This is something you and your roommate can do together as well. It works especially well for live TV with shows that are released the same time each week or with streaming platforms that release one episode each week. Even if it is a show with all of the episodes already out, dedicate time to watching the show to do so with your roommate. Resist the temptation to watch ahead, or things may get heated!
Game night
Games, whether they are card games, board games, or video games, are a great way to bond with your roommate. They are a fun way to be competitive and relax. You may even opt to invite friends so you can get to know each other’s friend groups as well. If you have enough people, you may even decide to do a full tournament or play on teams. Take turns picking games and have snacks on hand. Try not to be too competitive as this may lead to hurtful comments that you did not mean being said.
Cleaning day
While you may have different schedules and chores, it is more fun to do your cleaning together to hold each other accountable. Pick a day and time to clean together so you can each do your fair share of work while having fun together. Create a playlist or listen to an audiobook to help distract you and make the time more pleasant. Doing cleaning tasks together will allow you to get more done, especially since you have a dedicated time for it. It allows you a chance to work together to take care of your living space.
Mini book club
If you and your roommate love to read, host a mini book club where you read a book, preferably outside of your assigned school reading, and come together to discuss it at a chosen date. You may decide to read one chapter a week and discuss it weekly, or choose one book each month and discuss it at the end of the month. Take turns picking the book, and have discussion questions on hand to help jumpstart the conversation. This will allow you and your roommate to find out what each other’s interests are and what opinions you have on certain subjects within the books. Having these discussions, even if you disagree, will help you build confidence in sharing opinions and concerns with each other when you do not agree on the issue at hand.
Exercise class
During college, it can be difficult to find ways to stay active and be healthy. Find your campus’s gym or another local fitness facility and go to an exercise class together. The dedicated day and time will hold you accountable to actually go, and you will be spending time with your roommate. Consider trying something completely new, as this will give you a chance to learn something or even laugh at yourself in the process. Having someone holding you accountable and a day and time to put in your planner or schedule will make sure you actually go and hold yourself to staying healthy, even when things are busy.
Campus club
Your campus likely has student clubs and organizations. Find a club that fits your schedule and your roommate’s schedule as well, and go to meetings together. The meetings may be weekly or monthly, but they are a chance to spend time with your roommate, meet other people, and pursue something you are interested in. The clubs may be connected to your chosen field, or they can be a fun hobby like crafts or poetry. Use these clubs as a chance to build your network, even if it is not connected to the career you want to pursue.
You and your roommate will be living together, so even if you do not become best friends, it is still a good idea to get to know each other and spend time participating in traditions and rituals that will bring you closer together.
Moving Out Without Drama: Ending A Roommate-ship Gracefully
While your roommate or roommates may be great people, sometimes they’re not exactly the best to live with. If you have the means to leave and find somewhere else to live to lighten your stress load, if not done correctly, there’s bound to be drama, which can cause significant turmoil in your apartment or home. It’s probably best for all parties, yourself included, if you end this roommate-ship gracefully.
Sometimes, you don’t fully know what people are capable of until they’re pushed to their limits–let’s do our best to avoid this! So, here’s how you can move out without drama and end your roommate-ship gracefully.
Have a Plan
If you haven’t mentioned your desire to move yet, you should hold off until you have a concrete plan. Wait until you’ve found somewhere else to live, new roommates, and talked to your landlord about breaking a lease. You want to ensure this is something you can follow through on before you bring it up.
If you were only speaking in hypotheticals and something happens to fall through, it could cause some drama. Now that you’re stuck with a roommate who knows you want to leave them, they could become bitter, and it could start some kind of drama. Know where you’re going, when you’re leaving, and how you’re getting there.
Talk to Your Landlord
As mentioned above, talking to your landlord should be a part of ending this roommate-ship peacefully. If you just up and break the lease, it can stick your roommate with extra rent, broken lease agreements, and in serious cases, a visit to small claims court. If you want to keep things drama-free, negotiating with your landlord is the best option.
Negotiate how long you and your roommate have to find a replacement roommate, if you’ll still be responsible for rent until they do or until the lease ends, or anything else, so your roommate doesn’t get the short end of the stick. The terms you and your landlord agree on will differ for all landlords and circumstances, but be open and honest. They may be sympathetic to a poor roommate situation and willing to help you out a little more.
Communicate Your Reasons
It’s not recommended to just up and leave without some kind of communication to your roommate for a plethora of reasons, such as concern for your safety, and it can leave them worrying about the lease. Even if things aren’t on good terms between you and your roommates, you still need to sit down and have an open talk about why and when you’re leaving. So, once you have your plan, find a common time to sit down or talk to them if they don’t seem busy.
Even if, in your opinion, things are your roommate’s fault, don’t phrase it in such a way. Directly blaming someone can cause your roommate to get defensive and blow up. A roommate-ship is two-sided, so take part of the blame while still being honest. Maybe your cleaning habits and expectations didn’t match well, maybe they’re too much for you, or maybe you have a really, really long list. By being honest, it won’t cause any confusion.
Sometimes, this talk can feel like a breakup, but the goal isn’t to break anyone’s hearts. Be kind, honest, and straightforward. If they get upset, don’t just run away. If you still want to be friends, stress that!
Only Take Your Belongings
Once you’re ready to move out, you should only take what is yours, but unfortunately, this can be easier said than done sometimes. Many roommates split the costs of a lot of furniture, kitchen appliances, and bills such as the internet. You need to discuss how to handle these specific items going forward.
Some roommates who become ex-roommates decide to split these items evenly, whether in terms of value or, for example, split 10 items into 5 each. Alternatively, you can reimburse each other for a specific item. Did you both buy a coffee maker that only you use? Consider paying your roommate for their half of the coffee maker.
Next, you should double-check all of your clothing and linens to ensure they didn’t end up in your dresser on accident after a hectic laundry day. You don’t want to be branded a thief for an accident!
Ideally, you don’t want to start a fight over these items. Keep it peaceful so you’re able to move out without any extra drama from your belongings.
As long as you plan ahead and remain calm throughout your entire moving out, you should be able to avoid as much drama as possible and exit this relationship gracefully. It might be very stressful and nerve-wracking, but don’t take it out on your roommate, even if things aren’t great between you two.
Sun, Fun, and Roomie Time: 10 Fun Summer Weekend Activities to Do with Your Roommate
By Ella Shauman
Summer is a time to relax and de-stress from the heavy class schedules and the constant cycle of midterms and finals. But even with all that well-deserved free time, it’s easy to fall into a routine of binge-watching Netflix or scrolling your day away on TikTok. If you’re living with a roommate this summer, whether in your college town or back home, it’s the perfect opportunity to explore all the places and activities you haven’t had the time to and make some memories together. So, how do you make the most of your summer weekends without breaking the bank? Here are ten roommate-approved weekend activities to bring some joy to your summer.
1. Host a Themed Backyard Picnic
Take your ordinary lunch and make it memorable. Pick a theme—Parisian café, tropical luau, cottagecore tea party—and run with it. Pack homemade sandwiches, fruit, and maybe a fancy drink or two (mocktails, anyone?). Bring out a speaker, throw down a blanket, and soak up some sun. If you’re feeling extra, plan outfits to match the theme for the ultimate photo op. No yard? Head to your nearest park or rooftop and bring the picnic to the city.
2. Plan a DIY Spa Day
Who says you need a high-end resort to feel pampered? Grab some sheet masks, cucumbers, Epsom salts, and a couple of fluffy robes (or just your comfiest loungewear). Light some candles or diffuse a couple drops of your favorite essential oils and unwind. You can even take turns giving each other manicures or pedicures.
3. Go on a Mini Food Crawl
Pick a food category—tacos, ice cream, coffee, sushi—and create a mini food crawl around your city or neighborhood. Hit up three to four local spots and rate each one based on taste, vibe, and presentation. You’ll get a taste of the local scene, support small businesses, and maybe even find your new favorite spot.
4. Be Tourists in Your Own City
Even if you’ve lived in the same place for years, chances are there are museums you haven’t visited, trails you haven’t hiked, or local landmarks you haven’t seen. Challenge each other to plan a tourist-style day complete with cheesy souvenirs and photos. If you’re looking for some help unearthing hidden gems, check out apps like Atlas Obscura to help point you in the right direction.
5. Take on a Weekend DIY Project
Whether it’s redecorating your apartment, painting matching canvases, or trying your hand at air-dry clay crafts, a DIY weekend can be both productive and fun. Head to your local craft store, stock up on supplies, and set up a creativity zone in your apartment. You might end up with some unexpected new decor—or at least a few laughs over the mess you made.
6. Camp Out—or In
Want the camping experience without having to travel? Set up a tent in your backyard or make a pillow fort in your living room. Bring out the s’mores (use the oven if you don’t have a fire pit), cue up a scary movie or ghost stories, and enjoy the nostalgia of a childhood sleepover with a grown-up twist.
7. Start a “Roommate Bucket List” Challenge
Create a summer roommate bucket list of 10–20 fun, affordable activities—things like “bike five miles to get coffee,” “attend a free outdoor concert,” or “watch the sunrise together.” Make it a mission to check off every item before the summer ends. Not only does it keep your weekends full, but it also gives you both shared goals to look forward to.
8. Sign Up for a One-Time Class or Workshop
Take a cooking class, try wheel-throwing pottery, learn salsa dancing, or attend a poetry open mic night. Many cities offer discounted or pay-what-you-can weekend workshops, especially during the summer. Whether it’s a hit or a hilarious failure, doing something totally new together is a great bonding experience.
9. Have a “No Phones” Adventure Day
Designate one Saturday or Sunday as a “no phones” day—except for emergencies or directions. Head out with only a disposable camera and a handwritten list of stops for the day. Maybe it’s hitting up the farmer’s market, a thrift store, and then ending with a spontaneous road trip an hour out of town. Disconnecting from your devices helps you focus on each other.
10. Plan a Movie Marathon with a Twist
Movie nights are a classic for a reason. Pick a theme like “Coming-of-Age Summer Films” or “90s Teen Rom-Coms.” Decorate your living room, print out “tickets,” make themed snacks, and vote on outfits that match your movie picks. If you want to go even further, host a bracket-style competition to crown the best film of the night.
Making the Most of Roomie Time
Your roommate isn’t just someone who shares your Wi-Fi password and fridge space—they can also be a great friend. Summer is the ideal time to deepen your relationship, get out of your comfort zone, and create moments that you’ll look back on once classes pick up again.
It doesn’t take a big budget or elaborate plans to make a weekend feel special. Sometimes all it takes is a shared playlist, some creativity, and the willingness to say “yes” to something new. So, whether you’re crafting, picnicking, or watching movies, remember: the best summer memories are made with the people who make you laugh until your stomach hurts.
So text your roommate, grab your sunscreen, and start planning your next weekend together—because summer doesn’t last forever!
How to Survive Living with Roommates During Exam Week: Tips for Peaceful Coexistence
Living with a roommate under normal circumstances can come with challenges. However, these difficulties increase when it is exam week. One roommate may be trying to get a good night’s rest while the other roommate comes in at 3 am and is making noise. While it may be challenging, there are ways to make living with a roommate during exam week bearable.
Image via Pexels
Communicate
In any situation, communication is so important. However, several problems during exam week can be avoided by communicating with your roommate. Let each other know when your exams are and communicate what you need in order to succeed. Let your roommate know what behaviors you find disruptive, especially when it comes to studying. If you do not tell each other what support is needed, you will run into problems, especially with things like uninterrupted sleep or quiet study time.
Exchange exam schedules
As soon as you know your exam schedule, write it down and have your roommate do the same. This way, you have an idea of when each roommate will be studying and when they may be a bit more stressed than usual. Knowing each other’s schedules will help you know when to avoid potentially disruptive behavior, such as talking on the phone or playing loud music. This can help you and your roommate know how to best support each other and ensure that things remain peaceful.
Be clear about boundaries
As mentioned above, there may be behaviors that you or your roommate find disruptive. If your roommate tells you that you are doing something that is interfering with their exam prep, it is important that you listen to them and adhere to this boundary. This way, if you have to tell them that they are doing something that is disrupting you, they will be more willing to listen and be mindful of your boundary. Make sure you do not go into their space, especially their study space, since they likely have things set up to maximize their success.
Anticipate tension
Exams can be stressful for you and your roommate, especially if you have a class or two that are especially difficult. Plan ahead for there to be some level of tension and stress, and be lenient with your roommate. Exam week is not the time to be nitpicky about little chores that did not get done or little messes that have not been cleaned up. Think about how you would feel if someone were on your case about something as small as a mug being left on the counter when you are dealing with exam stress. Being mindful of increased stress and being more relaxed with certain things can help things remain peaceful.
Check on your roommate
Exam week is stressful for you as well as your roommate. Take a few moments to check in to see how they are doing and see if there is anything you can do for them. You may not be able to alleviate all of their stress, but knowing someone is there and cares during a stressful time can be comforting enough to help them deal with the stress of everything. Have a conversation where you each talk about what is happening with exams and things in general. Being able to get stress out of your systems can help each of you from getting to the point of yelling over the littlest trigger.
Plan fun breaks together
It may seem counterproductive to schedule fun in the middle of studying for exams, but your brain needs a break. Check out your schedule and compare it to your roommate’s schedule to see if there is a time when you can plan to do a fun activity together that will not take too much time or money. It can be as simple as a 15-minute face mask or ordering dinner for delivery and eating together away from studying. Having a special and fun distraction from studying, even if just for a little bit, can help break things up and make things seem less stressful. This way, you will be more prepared to conquer your studying and exams.
Study outside of your living space
While it is more comfortable to study in your dorm or apartment, your roommate may distract you with phone calls, guests, or loud music. To avoid this, find a quiet place on campus to study. This can be a library, study lounge, or other location where you can get things done without being distracted. This way, you will not be in a position to get mad at your roommate, and things will remain peaceful between you. This also gives your roommate more freedom to do what they need to do in your living space, whether it means having guests over or listening to music. Take turns with who stays in the dorm or apartment and who finds an alternative spot to keep things fair.
What To Do If Your Roommate Stops Paying Their Rent
Unfortunately, your roommate has stopped paying their portion of the rent. This is a very stressful situation for all parties involved, but there are certain things you should do in these cases. Whether your roommate is a long-time friend or simply someone you share space with, you need to go about this logically. Follow these actions, in no particular order, to try and get this resolved as quickly as possible.
Communicate Expectations With Your Roommate
You should speak openly with your roommate to understand why they have not been paying rent. It could be something as simple as they happened to forget, or it could be that they haven’t been making enough money. While you can sympathize with them over a bad situation, this is causing you a lot of stress while putting the full burden of the rent on your shoulders.
By having an open and honest conversation with your roommate, you may be able to resolve things quickly or come up with some other kind of compromise or plan that works best for both of you going forward, such as negotiating a different type of rent based on room size..
You may consider having this conversation with a neutral third party present to help keep things civil. This should not be a friend of either of you, but someone who is completely unaffected by the situation, such as a professional mediator.
If this conversation does not end on a positive note, it may be time for more drastic measures such as legal action.
Talk to Your Landlord
Talking to your landlord about the situation is always a good idea, seeing as they are in charge of the property. While not all landlords are willing to help as they might not care who exactly pays the full price of the rent, they may be able to start the eviction process better than you can on your own and redraft a lease naming you the sole person responsible for rent. They can help you change the locks while your roommate is out for a bit and help provide any further documentation that we’ll talk about later.
Talk to Your Roommate’s Parents
It may sound silly, but if you are able to speak with your roommate’s parents, do it! While it can be a mistake sometimes, if your roommate learned this poor behavior from them, it is possible that it works in your favor.
There are many people in your situation who reach out to the parents, who end up being appalled by their child’s behavior and make them pay you everything you owe or pay on their child’s behalf. It’s possible they’re paying the rent to your roommate, who then uses it for other funds. You have nothing to lose, you may as well swing for it and hope for the best!
Document Everything
If this situation continues to escalate, you may want to try to evict your roommate or take them to civil court to pay you the rent they owe. If this is the case, you need to keep copies and document absolutely everything. This goes from major documents such as the lease and a roommate agreement, proof of your rental payments and extra payments to cover their half, to smaller but still important things such as screenshots of texts, emails, any receipts, and notes or recordings of any phone calls you two share. Even if you end up not needing it, having it in your back pocket to help and prove your case is worth it.
Be Petty
At this point, if your roommate isn’t paying or helping, you want them to move out. This is your time to be as petty as possible to make living there rent-free difficult for them. Do you pay for the internet while they use it? Change the password so they can’t use it anymore. Hide or lock up any groceries you purchased on your own so they can’t mooch off of those either.
While this may sound childish, you are entitled to keep all of what is yours if they’re not contributing an equal share to your apartment. They have already made living difficult for you, it is about time you return the favor. However, be careful that you don’t break any laws, such as vandalism, as in destroying their property or threatening bodily harm. Keep everything to a minor or major inconvenience that will make your roommate want to move out.
This is a stressful situation that no one wants to be in, so hopefully this guide can help you get everything sorted out and under control so this burden no longer grows on you. Don’t be afraid to take necessary action so that you can revert back to living in peace.
Roommate Dynamics: How to Be Friends, Not Just Co-Tenants
If you are a college student who lives in an off-campus house or apartment, you likely have a roommate. While many people have roommates they know, you may not have met your roommate before this semester. It can be challenging to live with someone you do not know that well, but it is possible to move from just being co-tenants to being friends with your roommate.
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Get to know each other before moving in
Before you even move in together, take time to get to know each other. If possible, meet up in person, but if you live too far away, consider video chatting. When you are talking, ask each other questions to get to know each other better and to find out what you have in common. This way, you will be able to get a sense of what the other person is like and what things you both value in life. It is important that you have at least some level of connection. If you are completely different with no common ground, it may be difficult to find a bond and get along.
Be friendly first
The best way to have a friend is to be a friend. It may be tempting to not talk a lot at first, especially if you are shy, but it is important to make an attempt to engage in conversation and be friendly so your roommate knows that you want to be friends. Ideally, you either met in person or talked online before moving in, so you have a basis of commonalities to draw from. Pull from things you remember about your roommate and have a conversation about that. Being able to recall details will let your roommate see that you care and will help build the relationship. However, it is also important to not overwhelm your roommate with cheerfulness and enthusiasm as this may come across as off-putting.
Go on roommate dates
Spending time with your roommate is a great way to get to know each other and become friends. Doing things that at least one of you is interested in will help you learn about each other. It gives you a chance to see each other in a more natural environment where you can shine with something you are passionate about. Take turns choosing what to do and make sure there is time to talk about the experience over a meal or coffee. Make sure you do things that you can both afford without going over your budgets. Try to set aside a day or evening once a week or once every couple of weeks to do something fun together.
Communicate
The best way to build a solid relationship is to have reliable communication. While you should be communicating with your roommate even without being friends, it is especially important to communicate if your goal is to be friends with your roommate. Make sure you are clear on each other’s schedules and know when you are each bringing people over to study or hang out. If either of you are having a problem or you are frustrated with each other, it is important to feel comfortable enough to bring it up with the other person. Otherwise, the person will hold it in, which will build resentment and can destroy the chance to build the friendship you are hoping for.
Establish boundaries
Even the best of friends have boundaries. The key with friends is that the boundaries are clearly established and both parties respect the other’s boundaries. Set clear boundaries and responsibilities with things like chores, shopping, and borrowing clothes or other items. It is also important that you are clear about the kind of relationship you want with your roommate. Be upfront about wanting to be friends so that you can meet this need if your roommate agrees. Not establishing a relationship or boundaries may lead to issues and arguments down the line. Again, communication is super important here.
Be honest
Whether you are having an issue with your roommate or you made a mistake in the relationship, it is important you are honest. Eventually, the truth will come out and your roommate will be even more mad that you kept something from them or even lied instead of bringing an issue up. This can lead to mistrust and difficulty in re-establishing a friendship. If you are good friends, you should be able to trust that they will want to hear the truth, even if it is difficult. Issues arise in every relationship and things come up that need to be worked through. This does not mean that you are not meant to be friends. Honestly dealing with issues will determine the future of your friendship with your roommate.
Roommate issues tend to be the main focus of college lore, but if the relationship starts strong and things are maintained as any other healthy relationship, it is possible to be friends with your roommate.
Roommate Survival Kit: Essential Items Every College Student Needs to Co-Exist Peacefully
Sharing a small space like a dorm with a roommate, whether you know them well or not, can be challenging. We have different lives, schedules, and habits which can be frustrating to deal with if you two clash. Luckily, it can be made a little easier when you purchase specific items. Here is a list of the must-have essential items every college student needs to co-exist peacefully with their roommates.
Whiteboard Calendar
One essential item to help you and your roommates co-exist peacefully is a whiteboard calendar or a regular whiteboard. A calendar allows you to put your class schedules especially when you are all first adjusting to the beginning of a semester. While you might not think you need your roommates’ schedule, it will be nice to know when you will have alone time in your dorm.
You can also use a calendar to circle important dates, such as deadlines or tests. This gives your roommate a heads up on when you might need some quiet time, so they don’t blast music or games throughout the whole day leading up to it. Of course, you will do the same when your roommate circles a big day. Whether you compromise on being quiet in the dorm or one of you heads out to the library or to hang out with other friends, it will help make boundaries clear.
If your calendar whiteboard has room or you get a regular whiteboard, you can use it to write reminders for each other, when you’ll be back if you’re out, or a chore chart.
Chore Chart
A chore chart may sound juvenile, but it is a key to co-existing with your roommate. If you like a clean room and your roommate doesn’t care about cleanliness, you might find their lack of work extremely frustrating. You two can create a chore chart together. Look around your dorm or apartment and see what needs to be done: Cleaning common spaces and bathrooms, taking the trash out, doing dishes, and more!
It should never be on one roommate to do everything around the dorm. You two are sharing the space, so you should contribute equally. You can choose specific chores for each person or rotate them each week or month if that feels more fair plus how often they should be done. Having this easily accessible and visible to both of you will increase the likelihood of them being completed. It may take some getting used to, but do not give up!
Noise Canceling Headphones
Another item you might want to look into purchasing is noise-canceling headphones for yourself. Sometimes, it may not be possible for your roommate to be quiet, especially depending on the kind of person they are. Plus, trekking to the library and back late at night is not something you’ll want to do often. Save yourself and buy a pair of noise-canceling headphones so you can focus in the comfort of your own room while also playing a nice motivating study playlist. You can also use them for long rides, going to the gym, or just a short walk to class making them well worth the money.
Room Dividers
You should also look into purchasing a room divider, ideally one that folds away. Dorm rooms are small and it might feel like you are on display and do not have privacy. By buying a room divider, you can set it up when you just want to exist without any major disturbances or discomfort. If this is your first time living with a roommate, this might be necessary to adjust to such a new living situation. When you want to chat or don’t mind your roommate’s presence, fold it and put it away! There are some pretty affordable and portable options. Speak with your roommate and maybe you two can split the cost, especially if it’s something you both want.
Dedicated Spaces for Each Roommate
Whether the space you’re sharing is one room or multiple, each roommate should have a dedicated space that is only theirs. Do not take things from these places, touch anything, or invade when not welcome. By having these spaces other people should not invade, it gives you a small oasis for yourself, as well as peace of mind. Respect everyone’s boundaries and your roommate should follow suit. This can be your bedroom if applicable, or only your bed, your desk area, or anywhere else you would prefer.
Communication
Lastly, while not an item, communication is essential to co-exist with any roommate. As lovely as it would be for your roommates to be able to read your mind and know when you want them to clean up after themselves, unfortunately, it is not possible. By speaking about and communicating your expectations verbally, not just on your whiteboard, your dorm will be much more peaceful and you will be able to co-exist with your roommate. Look into these essential items and see what works for you to have the best roommate experience.
